Of Mice and (wo)Men....

The other day, my mom and I stayed up talking all night about different things in general.  She starts talking about a huge mouse she saw years ago somewhere.  As she was telling the story, I started shaking, shuddering my disgust, and before I knew it, I was hyperventilating and crying so hard she literally had to hold me like a child until my body had returned to its calm state.


Have you ever met someone that seemed to have a "foolish fear"?  They may have been afraid of buttons, or tea bags, or water, or some other inanimate object that made you look at them like:

This is the look that I get every time that someone discovers that I have a true true phobia of.....ugh..........mice and rats.  *shudders*

I dont know exactly when this fear started but all I know is that the first time that I saw a live mouse was a few years ago while living with my grandmother.  And it was in seeing it that sparked my tremendous fear.  I ran out the house for a full day and would not return until I knew that the mouse was gone, or caught, or dead or exterminated or whateverthehell. I wanted it OUTTA HERE!

Even then, I did not really recognize my fear as a flat out phobia.  The next year while in my own place, I remember talking with a girlfriend in my apartment and she discovered a small mouse. Completely shocked and hadnt even seen the creature for myself, I immediately tensed up, and balled my feet up on the couch, afraid to let them hit the carpet. For hours.  I was held prisoner to my own place.  I finally got the nerve to call maintenance, who promptly reminded me that it was a Friday night and all of the maintenance men were home for the day and that my call was not an emergency and that I had to wait until Monday for some help with my problem.

It was then that I realized my fear (still unrecognized by me as a phobia at this time) was considered null and void.  No one would even take it seriously.  My friend that night she saw the baby mouse was laughing at me as I sat on my couch in a ball, shaking and scared to death, afraid to even get up and walk around.  Needless to say, that night, I managed to pack a bag really fast and I hightailed it to my grandmother's house for the weekend.  The mouse had won and for the moment, I was fine with that.

That Monday, though, I made a dash back to my apartment.  I had had a few days to think about how apparently ridiculous I was being and decided that since it was me paying rent and not Mickey Mouse, that I had the upper hand.  Over the weekend, I had stocked up on traps and had spent over $60 to quell my fear a bit!  I was ready! Over it, I say!

I marched into my apartment with no fear at all.  Told myself that if it was gonna be me or him, that Id be a fool to let him win once more.  I started cleaning my place, set the traps and plugged them in (I got botht he regular traps as well as the electric ones you plug into the wall), started the dishes up and the whole nine.  Im putting away some food, turn around and what scurries across the floor, resulting in me dropping everything from my hands and running out of my apartment with out both my keys AND cell phone?

Yea........

I had locked myself out of my apartment and was crying my eyes out.  Standing outside of my apartment upset, shaken, and literally rocking myself back to normalcy, I realized, "this is a phobia". I headed back to the maintenance office, still visibly scared and talked to the head of maintenance.  He understood and assured me that most people do not share my fear, which is why the operator said it isnt an emergency. He understood that it was an emergency to me, so he immediately ordered one of his workers to come in and install glue traps and check the place out.  He even went the extra mile to set up an inspection for my building every three months.  Much appreciation to him for that.

That day, however, once the traps by the maintenance were set (I now had three sets of traps in my small apartment), i cautiously started up with house tasks once again.  And just like earlier in the day, the mouse scurried across the floor and I left out, locking myself out of my apartment.  This time, though, my friend was coming over and once I gained entrance back into my place, I grabbed my keys and phone and quickly went to pick up my friend.  When she came, the mouse was lying on one of the traps, yay!!!

I never saw another mouse again. However, my extreme caution never left me.  In the place I had after this one, I did not take any chances.  Kept three sets of traps on at all times. One night, I left my window open and I felt something scurry across my arm. I hopped up, and with the all the lights still off, I quickly grabbed some shoes and my keys, wallet and phone and headed to my grandmothers at 5am, all because I thought I felt a mouse on me. smh.

My name is Mal and I suffer from musophobia.

Do you have an unusual fear or phobia?  What is it?

-SBB

The Return...

*taps mic*

Is this thing on.....?

Ahem....well, I dont really know how or where I want to start with this post.  No fanfare or any grandiose commotion is necessary.  I just wanna say:


Im back.

For those that have known me either online or off, you know that I have several blogs on this space called Blogger.  But for those that need a refresher and anyone that is new here, here is my very brief, quickly written “bio”.  

Im Mal.  Atlanta-born, Chicagoland bred.  Ive been a writer,both paid and non paid via the internet and off, since 2004.  Somewhere in early 2010, my life began to change and it was those changes that kept me from writing and releasing in the way I always had.  In exchange, I learned more about myself, went through a LOT, and fostered my experiences onto a select few along my path.

Now, I am back.  I have always loved writing.  It has been my release, my comfort, and even my friend when I feel like I cant talk to anyone at the moment and needed a proverbial “ear”.  Writing has, in a sense, kept me grounded and brought me back to my true self whenever I felt lost.  It’s true that writing is more than a strength and pastime for me. It is literally something that embodies….Mal.

I am also a Libra. Im indecisive, I relish in and love all aspects of love, orderliness, and romance. I love to have fun, music, cook, create, dance, and be rhythmic.  I consider myself an independent thinker, a freelancer of Life, and a person who loves to plan and be prepared at all times, but at the same time will leave things unfinished in pursuit of the next goal in her path.

I do not know the total direction that I want to go with this blog. I also do not know how frequently I will be posting just yet. I don’t have a whole bunch of plans for this.  What I do know, though, is I have a story to tell and I want to share it. I want to share my world and my life, my struggles and my life lessons that I have learned in the recent years.  I have grown a lot and I am still growing.


I got the Writing Bug back and here I am….

-SBB